As he, my knight, glances across the room to observe me, to have care for me, to determine if I am ok. If there is a need for protection, safeguarding, sheltering, he provides it to my well being from others. He furnishes this safety with an ease, with a gracefulness that the potential marauder does not even realize, this act of custodial guardianship by my knight is meant to deter, to discourage, any and all advances, all further thoughts of maneuvering to get to me. Regardless, if this marauder has ill-advised aspirations or has the most honorable intentions. My knight is there observing all actions, body movements and facial expressions.

When no protection is warranted his reconnaissance brow turns into a desire, a solicitous glimpse. As I watch his eyes behold my body and soul, his eyes manifest the sensation of making love to me; more passionate than ever touching me with his hands could. As this stare continues, an awareness comes over me, an impression of delicacy, warmth and overwhelming sense of feminity.

For this is all my knight takes from me. In his words,
"I watch her across the room, her form is lithe, her walk is graceful. I watch her eyes, they are kept down and focused. I wonder if it is shyness and or a way to keep people away, A way to not invite others in. I hear her voice like a melody on the wind. I do not answer just shake my head no to her question. My eyes speak for themself they hold her with a desire to protect & worship at the same time. I feel strong & weak at the same time. The moment passes. Life goes on I die inside a little each day. Let the blackness roll...."

His replied is no because he is a honorable, respectable man. For I belong to another, and I am to scared to depart the dead union made years ago, long before I met my knight. The responsibilities we, my groom and I, have accumulated during the years, have made us interdependent on each other for financial arrangements.

My eyes are kept down in twofold. A way to keep others away, so they cannot get in and see the pain and anguish that stirs inside. Additionally, to keep my knight from looking into my eyes because my pain and anguish, desire and agony grows with every gaze from him. For his soul has entered my being, and the weight is overbearring knowing our unhappiness lies with my indecisions.

My indecisions afflict pain on him. He has actually named and defined his pain - Melancholy Bliss --A perverse state of growing content with the feelings of loneliness and depression to the point those feelings start to make you smile and you feel happy being Melancholy. The idea of happiness begins to sadden you.
Because of this pain he has created a facade, a barrier from others he named this as well --Merciless Obfuscation - The art of masking ones true state of being or feelings from others and keeping people guessing at what you might do or say next. I have entered his cave to only be pushed out but have seen the mask off.